Well the past week has consisted of playing russian roulette with sharts and, trying to figure out how to keep jerrys bloodsugar up overnight.

i was worried we would have a prob today.. but it worked out ok.. they stuck him like 8 times, finally once in the WRIST! and side of hand with a butterfly before they finally got some blood. what an ordeal that was thank goodness he doesnt mind needles at all i guess all the years as a pin cushion, you get used to it.. well we went back out to van and did insulin and he got a dose of OJ and 2 bites of pbj sandwich, went back in to dietician appt. She still believes that since jerry can go to bed with a bg level of 333 and still wake up 8hrs later at 50, that the lantus maybe too high for him too. so since he hasnt had to take any of the other humulinR in a few days, shes telling us to back off the lantus too, try 35 then 30 units instead of the 40units and to call her next tues with update. we are back home and im going to pass out, i stayed up all night to make sure he didnt get up , forgetting that he had fasting bloodwork to do and eat. LOL. anyhow.. im off for zzzzzzzzzzzzz's!! gonna feel soooooooo good to lie in that bed!!

HORRID NOTE::: thursday we got home from dieticians office and my phone rings... its jerrys doctors nurse from other city, shes rushing and panicky, telling me to quick give her the number to the pharmacy and for me to IMMEDIATELY get to pharmacy and start jerry on this antibiotic. IM LIKE ummmm when we saw doc ten days ago.. he was put on augmentin, last pill this morning, shes like NO NO NO.. go to pharmacy and get this doxycycline im like OK??? but why? the culture of his wound they took turns out to be MRSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG did the chair tilt or my world?? MERSA!! no wayyyyyy .. thats from HOSPITAL!!!!!!!! yes she said most likely since he was a surgical patient.. YIKESSSSSSSSSS omg.. so we are like cloroxing everything. anywhere he goes i clorox! hes restricted from MY ROOM. and just omg.. i feel like glove and gowning when i walk im my front door.. i guess the only good thing is from before(ten days ago) the wound is totally healed, no redness ect.. this new antibiotic is 15 days. I found a NAVY report online that tells of using doxycycline for MRSA, and afriend that i do her hair, told me to do as i am doing and to bleach the tub after him! uh yeah!!!!!! gives me the heebies..im bleaching everything! lol told jerry dont wear any clothing he didnt want bleach in!

thursday we saw jerrys endocrinologists dietician. She said jerry isnt eatting enough "free foods" and must limit carbs to 30 per meal (3 meals) and 15 per snack (3 snacks) but all the protein he can handle.. she is an older lady and very nice. I think jerry got along with her very well. We go back on thurs morning for a fasting bloodwork, and we will also see her that day too. Shes checking on him! yeah!! she thinks his reg. insulin isnt right and that he needs a faster acting one available. So first a steady diet then the insulin. she will review and modify/explain his diet journal, where he needs help or is doing great . So much better this time around~ CROSSING FINGERS!!

I seem to find jerry yanking me back and forth. TODAY I woke up at 1040, yelled hey jerry take your meds, do your bsugar. well from that point until 1 something i continued the chant before it dawned on me HEY SHUT UP. i got up to take a pill, had still a good 8oz or more water in my cup as i walked by him to go to my room, the water found itself coating him. Needless to say he got up then. I simply dressed and left for the day. I came home around 730 and he was up and watching tv. so he mustve done what he needed to , or not. There was nothing written on his papers, just the first bloodsugar level. that was all. so he will have nothing to show the nutritionist, i guess what ticks me is -damn its embarrassing to sit there and have someone think what an idiot when hes not! and worse yet--IM married to it!! 20years !! where is this thinking coming from?? when do i care what others think? HE irks me that all these years i have stayed up around the clock doing research, suffering being soo tired at work, LITERALLY holding my head up with one hand while scouring the most innate websites, JUST in case something was there i could use to help jerry. YEARSSSSS i did this. NOT that i begrude him it, because he COULDNT do for himself . he was too sick to sit here, but that he throws it back in my face, as being worthless and countless, by not picking up the reins and taking care of himself from this point on is a blow and shows me he couldnt give a crap for what i went thru. The years of sitting beside a hospital bed in an upright chair(up to 12 days at a time) (i might have eaten a snack ONCE a day, and if a Friend hadnt brought me meals ONE stay i wouldnt have eaten at all! ), fighting doctors, my legs swelling my back aching (i even had to sleep on the floor at the door once )and still juggling bills and missing work making all of it harder he just cant seem to give it any value by using it to better himself, just ticks me off.. guess im whining. woe is me.. all my sacrificing for what?? more grief? i guess im brooding and being selfish, that i would actually expect him to take care of himself. sheez. maybe i need my head checked !!

oops that last sentence in last post should have been: how do you make someone love themselves as much as you love them! and the frustration is YOU cant. sometimes i just want to grab him by the arms and shake the mess out of him and some sense in!

Needless to say, Jerry has picked up and straightened up for the most part, hes been taking bsugar levels and eatting carefully. Hes even writing down most of his food diary, although hes skipping parts, which irk me but ok hes making the effort to be responsible for his own health. HE no longer is direly sick like before so im not backpacking him anylonger. he can walk on his own legs. He will come and ask , hey if i eat this do i need to eat that? and or can he have this or that if his bloodsugar is high or low and i just question back to make him decipher it out. if its wrong choices, i might say hey how about a this and or that instead an dif he chooses to ignore the suggestion, well then he will have to cope with the out come himself because I wont be stepping in. I guess he will have to be hardheaded and learn the ropes the hard way. but as i said , hes been doing quite well for him, logging his bg levels a nd eating right.. he had a great day on the 9th! he was between 95 and 117 all day!! and he rode his trike around the block to boot! i mentioned that i had noticed he seemed more apt to be up and about and doing things when he kept his bg level in range. he just looked at me and went about his business. LOL. maybe that will sink in too???? i guess my fight and what made me so angry...is how do you make someone care enough about themselves as you care for them??

Nothing is always 100% GOOD. Tuesday the 7th, day after jerrys bday, I had a major melt down. I had awakened jerry , got him to do his blood sugar test (117) and fed him breakfast and i went to work, 9am. at 530pm i got home and jerry was laying on couch same spot, soaked head to toe in sweat, sheet he had around him soaked too, NO bloodsugars had been done all day, no list of foods NOTHING nothing was done all day, OH BUT there was a REGULAR dr. pepper drink sitting on end table by couch. I WENT OFF! i dont have reg. anything in house. (cept a stash of Oj cartons for emergencys for him) well, if he can get up and ride an adult trike to the store 3 blocks away, HE sure can get up and feed himself food and check sugar, and such. NOPE IM DONE! ill help anyone who cant help themselves but blatant disregard and negligence burns my butt!!! here i am at work trying to make ends meet, with a bum knee thats killing me more and more, (i have no insur. so cant go to doc yet-ok those who know me, know thats an excuse cuz i hate docs and prob wouldnt go if i had insur anyhow. ) and i come home to a man half out of his world, he couldnt even HOLD the little tube of glucose to get his bloodsugar back up.. I POKED HIM it was 42!!! well after I ranted and fumed, I sat down and made a print out of his meds. his surgery date and what he had done (tp/ict) and in 99 he had gallbladder out. then his ssoc # and bdate. taped it to my china cabinet so its the first thing paramedics can see on way in.. told Jerry hes on his own. live or die its his decision because i cant be his wet nurse any longer. i quit!

We went to the doctor this morning. He did have infection and she gave him antibiotics for it (oral) and told him to use a wet/dry compress. Use diluted peroxide on a gauze pad and then cover wound with it and then cover that with a dry pad (LARGE bandaid). do this for 5 days to help draw out the infection.

We go to the new endocrinologist's dietician on the 16th, then the following 24th jerry goes for bloodwork and then on march 6th we go find out what the bloodwork says! The endocrinologist is also checking for amylase/lipase and seeing if islets are functioning yet, but he told us it is still way early (being only 8 weeks post op) we will see. more hurry up and wait. meanwhile we get to have fun NOT with the belly wound.

Here we did it YET again.. ANOTHER BIRTHDAY in a doctors office or hospital setting!! we just cant seem to break the chain!!

Well, IT explained itself to us this morning. He ended up draining infection. Sooo we will get ourselves off to the doctors. Hopefully its just topical and nothing working its way INward or from the inside coming out! Dang, I guess he needed that post op evaluation one way or another huh? too bad the nurses fell thru on us when we came home. DANG FLA!! VISIT and get out as quick as possible you surely dont want to get SICK HERE!

Got a picture of Jerrys Belly with the Red spot. This also happens to be a section that when the staples were removed gapped open a bit so I wonder if its fluid trapped in the space? or a hernia like the doc thought it might be. I sure hope its not infection though. Yikes. Crossing fingers, legs and eyes.

HELLO everyone!!

Todays post::
the good, the possibly bad & the positive future!

we are having SOME FUN lmao.. well not, and yes we are.. up and down.. okay. we went to a diabetic nutritionist, she put jerry on this horrendously high carbo diet. the deal is eat what you want, then give yourself enough insulin to cover it.. ((im thinking here youre dumb lady...)) well jerrys bloodsugars were haywire. omg they were horrid 300-400-596 being tops. well, while we were in Minn, i had already called down and had an appointment made for jerry with my endocrinologist, who on Feb 2cd, agreed that this diet was NOT for jerry!! Jerry needs high protein and high fat !!! well finally someone who agrees, why feed a diabetic all the carbs (sugar) he wants.. sheezzzzzzz well , the doc was very good, being we on feb 2cd (8week to the day from surgery(dec2cd)), were just new from surgery, he said he didnt think the islets would show up but we are going to have bloodwork done to see anyhow. he is doing a whole lot of work up on jerry bloodwork wise that is since hes a new patient to him. Also we have an appointment with THIS doctors diabetic nutrionist and will be glad to see her!!

on another note, jerry developed a red spot on his incision, well its about a half inch long . Right on the cutline up and down. well its red from one side of the staple marks to the other. it was about the circumference of a quarter. in a day its moved up and down from the center point maybe 1/2 inch more so now the red area is like 2 1/2 inches long and 1 1/2 wide. My endocrinologist said it did not look like infection but a hernia. To watch it and monitor it , if it worsens to take him to the doc, or ER. well im thinking we might make that ER trip. (faster and closer than our doc whos an hour away) well jerry DID lift trash bags to take out , i had a fit but he had already done it and came in holding himself saying he did something.. HMMM you think?? anyhow, if something comes of it we will definately update. I feel anticlimatic and i think thats why i neglected the webpage but i forget that the after part is JUST as important. BUT THE PLUS OF IT ALL:::: the endocrinologist said that Jerry is going to be so glad he did this in about a year he will be like a new man. MORE positive reinforcement. YEAH!!! just being pain free from MR P is a blessing alone!! and the reversing of his gastroparesis is a bonus!!

OH I forgot to mention, just for information sake, Jerry will turn 52 on Feb 6th. So he was 51 when he had this surgery. Imagine how well someone else would do if they had this surgery before waiting so long?!!